hot prowl burglary — saint carbine
no witnesses. if there are any, none should notice you. blend into the crowd or blend into the night. act in hidden places or hide in plain sight.
observe everything. look ahead, look behind, and do so calmly. listen to the sounds of birds chirping, footsteps, people talking, cars driving, know everything before you get where you need to be and when you’re right there. if one could see, hear, smell, and feel everything, one could get away with any crime. observe even yourself.
use your fear, this hightened paranoia, to observe. live in the fear, the surreality, the unusualness and uncomfortableness, and have the confidence you will overcome doubt. fear promotes inertia, however. let the fear control you, then release it and act. each time you overcome fear is an orgasmic leap of faith; you must confront life as it happens, second by second, unplanned and uncertain, and in this you test your courage under chaos.
any crime can be gotten away with at the correct time. the less witnesses, sleeping or absent homeowners, empty aisles. should we move as fast as possible, or should we act deliberately? I lean towards speed as anxious deliberateness has ruined so many opportunities. timing should be minded at all times, though. it’s something tht should prevent us from being paralyzed, but it’s something tht we must acknowledge long before we act. after midnight wal*mart greeters are absent and the few workers that are left might be too apprehensive to stop you, at night homeowners are sleeping and might be too scared to confront you, at afternoon during weekdays those same homeowners might be gone and a rare rear window left open, yearning for you. just remember to knock first, or surveil if you have both patience and nerve
think aboutt your plan of action, think aboutt dna (spit, sweat, skin cells, blood…) and fingerprints, think about whether your relationship to your target will make you a suspect, think aboutt as many contigencies as possible, prepare for everything. mentally prepare too: prepare for probation, jail, or prison, prepare for ruin, prepare for death. let yourself be changed by cultivating apathy towards ruin or succes, in viewing action itself as its own reward. and once the time comes, remove all thoughts from your mind but thoughts of your crime. devote all your thinking to action.
all crime is uncertainty, all crime is risk, all crime is a gamble. be ready to break all rules placed on yourself, be ready to violate these rules just as you plan to violate morals. be ready to steal while looking others right in their eyes, to act on total impulse without preparation or observation or any other hesitation in order to exploit a rare opportunity, to act in total fear and to act utterly fearlessly, to rob people you know and to leave your dna all over the scene; be ready to throw all caution to the wind, to put your faith in the hands of an greater, unknown power. one must pledge loyalty to luck or fate or fortune or a dark angel, and pray god will understand. this is the thrill of the game, the fun of the hunt, the excitement, the pulsating daring, the most terrifying and spiritually educative aspect of crime. one feels power over all society for just a brief moment, and one must be brave to feel something this rare and altering. this is apolitical, counterproductive, counter-revolutionary, but, pleasurably, also cruel. I must bring others pain in order to withstand my own, in order to survive this weight. i vent this rage, my vulnerability, with a knife thrust in the neck of the world. desperation. justice.
the need to tolerate risk is why an acceptance or a desire for self-destruction is so important for the criminal. once one is ready to destroy themselves to obtain pleasure, one is ready to live on a higher level, ready to live in danger; to experience the thrill of overcoming danger over the agony of submitting to it. this is a gift that’s yours alone, a gift gained under grit, danger, threat, and fire. this is living as few have lived.
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saint carbine is a hot mess who’s still figuring herself out, and feels baring it all through art is the perfect avenue to do so. she loves both god and her friends but she can’t finish reading a single book to save her life. the wild ravings of this thirsty, tortured top are at @carbinesaint on twitter. more crazy to come. :) get her most recent book here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/two-essays-on-by-31068019